Well, for those of you wondering what in the world happened to compel Mistress Cassie to post Her January 7 remarks - here its is.
During an IM session late Thursday into Early Friday morning, i was stressing out about a work issue and a big meeting to come on Friday evening. Mistress was capably playing the role of advisor, and i ultimately talked to Her on the phone as well. All good.
Mistress was giving me good advice while patiently listening. This is exactly what separates Her from most in Her profession - i think. It's not just about phones sex, sissy training and control. She brings a lot more to the table than that. When She plays the role of advisor, She's giving me the experience of a successful Woman's perspective on a problem that is insightful in two ways. One is just that - a different perspective, a different angle, a Female interpretation of what the right path is for me to take when a complex problem is at hand.
The second value of what's She's doing is actually a form of long term feminization. Real feminization is more than wearing panties and sucking cock. It's ultimately about feelings and thought process. i love the feel of nylon panties. But after wearing them all day every day, i slowly, surely begin to feel for feminine. One is an outward joy and feeling. Nylon material against my male genitalia is very nice indeed. Over time, another feeling, an inside feeling is growing under Mistres' tutelage.
i doubt that i'll ever have sexual reassignment surgery. i'll aways have male genitals. They belong top Mistress now, and that's the difference. i am a male who is becoming a Female, one step at a time. From the outside in.
When i back pedal & make a mistake like i did early Friday morning, Mistress has to take swift action. i was being arrogant, and was literally asking for Her to exert her Authority. Why would i do that? i could explain it like this - when She was counselling me the other night, my love for Her was overwhelming me. everything She does brings me closer to Her. When i'm feeling overwhelmed, i can make a mistake, and i did.
Here's just a part of the IM exchange, a small part:
pettimaid (1/6/2012 1:14:50 AM): You're killing me here. Show Your real Power. Leave more comments, use Your admin rights and post on my blog to Your delight. i live to please You. Have some fun! You just gave me 30 minutes, get Your ROI, Mistress Cassie. Use me, please............
Cassie_jones16.src%3Dpg (1/6/2012 1:15:30 AM): dont ever fear you won't be used....
Cassie_jones16.src%3Dpg (1/6/2012 1:18:14 AM): I am just doing alot of reading here... this must be the best sissy blog on the web.
Cassie_jones16.src%3Dpg (1/6/2012 1:18:17 AM): go to bed.
Now, this may just a sample, but when She said 'Go to bed', i should have listened. i didn't LISTEN. She had already sessioned me, counseled me, during an earlier IM session and a phone session. During the 2nd IM session, She did what i asked Her to do, She looked at my blog. She complimented it and left comments. No sissy could ask any more from a Mistress.
BUT AFTER SHE COMPLIMENTED MY BLOG, i MADE THIS HUGE BLUNDER, INSTEAD OF THANKING HER AND GOING TO BED:
pettimaid (1/6/2012 1:21:13 AM): You should see my ranking on web searches. It's unbelievable how high my site anks on some searhes that compete with pay sites that i recognize. i'm a fucking sissy rock star!
There you have it. What an idiot! It took Her about 30 seconds to post and exert Her authority!
THIS IN NOT mY BLOG!!!!!! If i belong to Mistress Cassie, and i do, this blog also belongs to Her, and it does. i'm a sissy for sure, Mistress Cassie's sissy. i am NOT a rock star, She is.
Well, now i've got to deal with Her post and the ramifications. i'll have to find a way to appease Her. i will have to pay the price for learning - once and for all - real humility.
Much more to come on this - obviously.
sissy maid diane
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